This week is our first family holiday! Yay! We are at Boardmasters in Newquay! Double Yay! I’m performing on the comedy stage! Triple Yay!


(Potentially this is me, in the same way that every time I drive a vehicle I’m potentially going to be in the next fast and the furious movie. 8 fast 8 furious)

It’s also the first time the girls are camping. Yay?


Look at that picture. The tent is massive, the girls look happy and we even have a rug on the floor. Yeah that’s right we don’t camp we glamp! Cold floors and sleeping bags?  Fuck that! For us it’s all airbeds and duvets suckers.

The one thing we don’t have is electricity.


Yep that thing is a coin operated iron. You get 5 minutes for 20p. This is how all the electrics operate in this place. I’ve calculated it will cost roughly £8.60 to fully charge my phone. It was cheaper to drive into town and buy a Starbucks coffee then stay and charge everything there. Tomorrow I’m bringing my ironing while I down a £5 filter coffee.

The only other thing I miss is sleep as the girls can hear everything going on around us plus there’s a thin sheet of gauze separating the two bedrooms. Whoever said this was a 6 man tent either really liked his friends or wanted to do bad things to them while they slept.


(The behemoth 9000. Because sometimes you need to feel like you’re sleeping in a whale’s mouth)


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