Who’s that trip trapping over my bridge?

Last night I tried my hand at trolling. Someone made the mistake of adding me to a random messaging group and I took this as a free invitation to express my comedy powers all over their seriousness.



Just for the record I have no idea who any of these people are and I have never been to a single event or met any of them. I believe I may have tried to sell something to one of them once but as I’ve sold a lot of things in my time (computer games, mobile phones, credit cards, bodily fluids) it could be anything.

I am really not a great person to have in a conversation if I’m bored.



I have a feeling this conversation used to be about some kind of gaming event but I’ve decided to make up little histories about each of the people involved. Ricky, for example, saved me from my painkiller addiction and subsequent debt/family relationship problems. We were like brothers but recently any event I’ve been invited to he’s dropped out of, it’s like he can’t handle remembering some of the things we’ve done together.



Eleanor was the only one that stood by me when I lost my job and put me up on her sofa, since she moved away things haven’t been the same between us and I was hoping this meet up might repair some of the distance between us.

See it’s fun! These people aren’t strangers anymore! They’re friends, family even, and there’s a rich tapestry of history between us!

Then Laura spoiled the fun. I should point out that these people really don’t know who I am, they don’t know what I do for a living or where I even come from so how was Laura to know she was dealing with one of the greatest comedic minds of our generation? I almost felt sorry for Laura as she’s now banned from any future shows I may be involved with.

Ok so maybe I was a bit of a dick but I wasn’t derogatory or inflammatory, it really was just a bit of fun. I hate the trolls that turn web pages into directories of hatred. My favourite current news article is about a senator changing Edward Snowden’s wiki entry – Wiki troll

I guess I’m saying a bit of fun is ok but if you’re going to take it too far it’s probably better you just stay under your bridge.



(like John Prescott)


  1. You fucking internet bully! It’s people like you who ruin the interweb for everyone. You disgust me. Why shouldn’t people add you to groups without asking you? If I was a terrorist then you’d be top of my list for one of those special parcels.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s