Counting your chickens

As a comic one of the things that usually strikes fear into my heart is the knowledge that the room I’ll be performing in is filled with Stag and Hen parties, all so drunk they’ve started trying to order kebabs directly from the bar and demanding they’re served it on the six pack of Armando the stripper.



(Come on Sharon we’re going to eat Wasabi paste directly out of his penis!)

So when I was booked for a private hen party obviously my nerves fluttered a little at the idea that instead of the stripper they were demanding they’d get a bearded man in a suit (those kind of strippers are usually reserved for very specific gay clubs in London and often refer to themselves as Yogi the Bare).

However I have to say I had a lovely evening. The maid of honour had booked me as a surprise for the bride and so I had to hide outside until they were ready for me, at one point I was even passed off as one of the other guest’s boyfriends just so as not to spoil the surprise (though to his credit Justin was a tender lover and whoever nets him will be a lucky man).

The venue was decorated beautifully, the guests were all great fun and the bride was really excited about having a comic on her hen do. 




After some banter with little bits of info coming out about the bridal party, finding out they referred to their little friendship group as a Clam Jam was the highlight of my evening as it brings to mind Sebastian from Little Mermaid starting a new band to tour salt water lakes, we got into the set and we were off. 

As I rounded off the performance I got the bride up on stage to do the final joke, something I’d recommend for any comic doing a hen party. She smashed the punchline and got applauded off the stage, who doesn’t love being able to claim they did something a bit unique on their hen/stag do.


(and then the horse tore his arm clean off! BEST.HEN.PARTY.EVER!)

For all the comics out there reading this I heartily recommend doing a private hen party, just so long as you’re happy to get your nipples oiled when Armando doesn’t show up to serve the drinks. 


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